"Just because I won’t be harboring an unrequited crush on you anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends – it just means some things will change. First, I’ll stop pressing “like” on all your Facebook statuses and writing “LOL!” underneath. I’ll refrain from posting profile pictures of the two of us that make it look like we’re dating, and I’ll no longer have to adopt a pained, weary smile whenever you talk about your love life, then pretend to have to go to the bathroom."